It's so moving, 2/6/2012 20 weeks

Over the last several weeks, Lego's movement has been getting stronger and more obvious. It's been a while since I have had to sit still and pay attention in order to notice the little twinges. In fact, they no longer feel like twinges. It's hard to say what the movements feel like now, other than that it feels like what it is; something poking and nudging me from the inside.

Does it make me a bad future mom if I confess to not always being glad about the movements? Mostly I really do love that I can feel her in there. This time of gestation is special. It's something she and I can only do with each other right now, and after she is born we will never again be together quite like this. It's nice feeling her in there and knowing it's an indication that she is healthy and growing just like she should be. Sometimes though, I get tired and grumpy and stressed. Sometimes I really just want to be left alone. I need my quiet time just like anyone else, and I'm not used to having to share my body all the time like this! It's frustrating to finally get all settled with a treat and my entertainment of choice, all set to relax and recharge, only to have that insistent nudging demand my attention. It's distracting! At least she doesn't move violently enough to wake me up at night so far. If that starts happening, we might have a problem.

Speaking of distracting! During our last group appointment with the nurse-midwives we did a short meditation exercise for relaxation. Turns out Lego got her mom's inability to sit still and behave. Taking a cue from my sisters and I pestering and poking each other every Sunday during the pastor's sermons, Lego picked this quiet time to start pestering me. I almost burst out laughing a couple times when a particularly hard jab surprised me and made me catch my breath. I couldn't pay attention to the midwife's verbal guidance at all, so much for relaxation! I'm only just over half way through this pregnancy, that means this is going to get worse. Lego, have mercy!

I have a sweet story from last week:
Dan usually wakes up earlier than me, even on days when we don't have to set the alarm clock for anything. Sometimes he gets restless and gets up to let me sleep, but a lot of times he likes to stay in bed and slowly snuggle me awake. On one snuggly morning last week, as I was slowly rejoining the world of the living, he asked if I'd been asleep up til that point. He told me the baby had been moving while I slept, and he was really happy to have been able to have some alone time with her. It made me warm inside to know he treasures her as much as I do. He's going to be such a great daddy!